There is an overwhelming air of calm as the 1st of the TWW is coming to a close. As we have been TTC for 17 months I have a few TWW under my belt. I have learned a new language, one of acronyms and unfamiliar well wishes. The two week wait (TWW) is what follows ovulation when a family is trying to conceive (TTC) and it is usually a barrage of hypersensitivity to possible early pregnancy symptoms. “Surely this level of tired is unusual, it must be pregnancy,” and “I’m craving a banana and I usually find bananas repulsive, must be pregnancy,” and my favorite “the Folgers commercial made me sob uncontrollably, must be pregnancy.” Hope builds and then that fateful first drop proving that you are in fact the only person currently living in your body and all is dashed, you make hot chocolate and begin to grieve. If this sounds like an unnecessary cycle to you, if it sounds absurd and dramatic, if the two week wait is illogical, unreasonable, and inappropriate you might be right. To the women on my fertility tracking ap it is real life and they have ways of helping each other through it.
There are a lot of technical acronyms: BD-CD-CM-OPK-DPO and my favorite DH which is not technical at all it stands for Dear Husband. We talk about things on this ap in the community tab no one I have ever met is willing to discuss. One of the best features of the ap is how it gives you a new anonymous character each time. Once I commented as Mint Aardvark and another I was Fuchsia Rooster there are antelope, spider monkey, prairie dog, mantis, cobra, rhino, manta ray, butterfly, gorilla, puma, best of all is the fox which I’m always hoping for. There can be a teal gorilla or a gold gorilla; you can be a blue stag or a sky stag, once I was a Purple Triceratops! When you pose a question or comment on a thread you are assigned a different colored creature each time. This is a fascinating tool I think it encourages me to comment more. The discussions are mostly helpful, there are varying levels of education about our bodies and the process of conception. It seems that for some women this is the only way they are going to get answers to their scientific or lifestyle questions.
Another thing in this micro culture that I find interesting is that you can filter the audience your question can see using the filters: same age, same time of cycle, same country, in a relationship, previous miscarriage, has children, diagnosed infertility. I can’t be expected to choose the people I want to see my questions; I can barely form them into sentences let alone exclude certain audiences. When I read exchanges like this can begin to see the value of filtering.
Silver sloth asks: What does is mean if my boogers are clear sticky and runny???
-crimson gorilla: boogers?
-silver sloth: yes like in my nose
-crimson goose: yummy
-silver sloth: you can eat them goose but I can’t stop blowing my nose, am I sick?
-crimson goose-no, probably Ebola
-silver sloth: oh noooooo not THE Ebola
-fuchsia dolphin: sick or allergies
Good thing that dolphin swooped and stopped this exchange, what filter would keep me from reading that? Maybe just my own brain choosing to open only relevant threads, like this one…
Mint Goose Asks: Period due tomorrow all the HPT (home pregnancy tests) are negative. It would show by now if I was pregnant right?
-purple dragonfly: most people say wait till you have missed your period. My hpts are negative too and I’m due Tuesday
-gold pig: I have been pregnant before where it didn’t show up till I was a week late
-lemon stag: not necessarily, I didn’t even get a faint positive until AF was a week late
-crimson stingray: should most likely have shown up positive by now. Best of luck next month
-lemon penguin: it might and it might not, depends on the initial amount of HCG in your urine, did you use FMU (first morning urine)
-mint goose: really lemon?!?! From what I have read online that is pretty rare, I’ll keep my fingers crossed I guess.
-lemon penguin: *baby dust*
Many threads use the term *baby dust* which is a way of saying good luck getting pregnant and having a baby I think. We all wish each other *baby dust* in most threads (save the booger one) and it feels so sparkly and kind. Every few months someone will post “I got my BFP” and waves goodbye as she wishes us all baby dust and advances to the pregnancy ap. Did you guess what BFP is yet? Sometimes I google the acronyms sometimes I just try to guess on my own. Big Fat Positive is what it means, it’s the top banana of TTC acronyms and it’s the best news. In one way it boosts morale that among all these women disguised as colored random animals, among all the personal anonymous questions posted across many age groups and countries and education levels someone succeeded. Someone got their dream, and we may yet get ours.
As you faithful friends read my blog posts and stay in the loop of my journey I thank you for cushioning me with prayer and encouragement. I attribute the current peaceful TWW to you- my not anonymous community. Well timed text messages, and crafting collaborations, and loaned books, and phone calls (yes real phone calls), and coffee dates, and dinner invitations have kept me from too much alone time to stew and worry. A few of you have even come to me for advice or encouragement for your own struggles in life and that makes me feel like shiny gold. Its good to be needed when I feel so consumed by my own journey, gets me out of myself and reminds me that even when I feel that my gifts are used up and my energy taxed I am still a useful helpful friend. Hope this was a welcome look into a world not many of you know about, and I hope you laughed. I have a goal of laughing at least once a day during the TWW; laughter is a great tool for survival.