Cause I miss you babe, and I don’t want to miss a thing.

You can’t start a letter to your (hopeful) child by talking about it’s conception! It doesn’t care if it was conceived in a doctors office, or because its parents were doing it, kids don’t want to think about that-especially if it was foggy that day. I’m already failing at parenting. *face palm-rolls eyes*

That last post was terrifying, I almost took it down after 47 minutes but a hot shower and a somewhere to be prevented me. Transparency is hard, and I feel like I’m toeing the line between vulnerability and oversharing. I guess if you feel like I’m saying to much you just won’t read it. No one is making you. Just go back to facebook scrolling and forget about this nonsense.

Now its just us? Okay can we get real and talk about refried beans please. Holy yum, I love the beans at Los jalapenos! In high school I asked my prom date if we could go to Los for Prom, he said no, but I’ve long been loving their beans. You nice people saying all the nice things, I love you too.

Anatomically correct is the way I like to explain things about our bodies to children. When my nephew was 4, he is 8 today, I taught him that the heart muscle says “lub-dub” and we would put our hands on our sternum and pound out the heartbeat rhythm saying “lub-dub” together. I think I explained to you what the IUI procedure we are doing biologically achieves here and also here.

What I may not have explained is that it has a cost that is not at all covered by insurance which is why I offered you a link to give.  Except that I did not get the link in there right. OY! *face palm agian* Each time we go in for an IUI our chances increase, and so does the bill. We have tightened the budget some but its costing us quite a lot of dollars. Once the kid moves in we both will be covered by our pretty awesome insurance that Joshua’s job gives us.  The prescription that I take leading up to the procedure isn’t covered, the ultrasound to confirm the prescription did the thing it was supposed to do is not covered, and the bill for the IUI is not covered.

Here is where you can click to help us with these expenses.

It is a mystery to me that this medical thing is so expensive and necessary. I know of a lady with several children that she grew in her body and she took drugs during her pregnancies, like hard drugs…everyday. God confuses me with this kind of thing. When Jesus was born there was a King who was threatened by him, and killed all the baby boys born then so as to ruin this rumored baby King’s chances of overthrowing him. Jerk King! Why didn’t Jesus father, the creator of all mankind, put a stop to this? They were told to go to Egypt, the land of their oppressors if I remember right, and hide from the murderous King. What the what? As Christmas approaches I can’t stop thinking about this part of Jesus birth story. Did God really think this was the best way to save him from Jerk King’s wrath? Also the wise men were spies of the Jerk King, which was not how the story was told to me, so many surprises.

Jesus story was filled with plot twists and unexpected answers to questions, best friends that betrayed him and time spent alone in the desert. I can’t figure out why my story is going this way, or why the world is filled with darkness. Whatever the cost I’m going to hope again and again that redemption is at hand, and look for the coming light. It gets hard to imagine light sometimes, don’t you think? Remember July when the sun didn’t set until like ten pm or something, all those glorious hours of daylight. Starting Friday we will be on the way back to them.

Revised Letter to my hopefully baby:

Dear baby, I like you. If you exist now you will be born in the summer, and everyone loves a summer baby. You don’t have to hurry, but please don’t take your time.

ps. friends: I promise to tell you when we are expecting, so as to save you from having to ask.

bend oregon wedding photography by steve heinrichs photography (371 of 491)1660220136..jpg
A sunny day in winter, they do exist!
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One thought on “Cause I miss you babe, and I don’t want to miss a thing.”

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