It happened, I farted in yoga. They encouraged the class to try a little harder in the pose, and take it to the next level. I doubt it was as loud as I imagined but it was hard to keep from cracking up. In hindsight I should have just busted out a loud cackle, everyone was trying to find their edge I could have been the comic relief we all needed.
Did I tell you I have started meeting with a personal trainer. Finding me inside a gym is the last thing I expected of my third decade here on the planet. I have this list of excuses as to why I don’t need to workout or have a trainer: I’m not overweight, I teach dance 7 hours a week, massage is a very physical job, I walk my dog for exercise. The person who is my trainer is amazing, she is grounded and funny and honest and if it were anyone else I would be sticking with my excuses. I agreed to trade with her mostly because I wanted to have an excuse to see her for half an hour every week, also because I love that we can trade services.
She sets up all the cool machines for you to use and calibrates which weight will serve you best, and the goal is for the workout to be really hard each time. Today was next level hard. I know what your thinking, and no I did not fart, but I did cry. She asked me to lift this load and I started pulling it and it was so heavy guys, like so heavy there’s no way I can lift this thing. I attempted and found that I could lift it with some struggle, and after a few slow reps she assisted me when my muscles failed to continue the set. It got inside my head, because even though she was right there helping me lift the load I almost couldn’t do it. When I set it down I was so blown away, “you can do hard things Kate” I said to myself. Two minutes ago you were saying to yourself “there’s no way”, and here you are. I wept.
In one week we will take a pregnancy test, like we do every month. Somehow this month is getting inside my head and I really hope this time is the time. I imagine how very cool to find out on Halloween, in my Fantastic Mrs Fox costume, that I am with child. The hope is unbearable. I do have help lifting this load, last night Josh and I accidentally stayed up till 1 am making our Fox masks. Fake fur everywhere, and hot glue strings catching the light, true love growing deeper through crafting. He cries when I cry, he hopes endlessly with me, and someday it will all lead to meeting our nice babies. We planned a chili cook-off Halloween party Sunday so we would have somewhere to wear our cleverly crafted costumes, I do not know if anyone will come. (If you are reading this I think you should come.) I’m keeping it real guys, as always. People say its brave, but I just can’t help but be honest about the journey. Its hilarious and farty and really hard, isn’t your life like that too?
I have cut back significantly on my intake of social media because it’s not serving me right now. What I need right now is to know that were all doing hard things and sometimes were fart in yoga. Reach out if you feel like it. Also this post is me completely endorsing Horizonline training, and I’ll tell you my girls name I you want.